Trip to expensiveville

Monday, June 19, 2006

So I went to bonaroo, home of the $5.00 funnel cake and the $6.00 lemonaide, topless painted naked girls and
pipeware of all shapes and sizes, literally as far as the eye can see. Here is my five second summary...
water=would have died had I not found $2.50 in my pocket
Bands = Fantastic...mostly
Crowd = personal forcefield penetrated
heat = chicken nuggets
dealers="hash, hits, shrooms, coke, speed" - a verbatim quote
bikinis=bikinis
this pic sums it up for me

A rip roarin good time

Anthony needs to book atrium

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Anthonys needs:
These all seemed sadly true in a random sort of way
Anthony needs coaching in the game of life.
Anthony needs touches, and to forget the past
Anthony needs every second to achieve some measure of atonement
Anthony needs help on the floor
Anthony needs a new default name
Anthony needs to operate
Anthony needs a family experienced with special needs
Anthony needs star burst to make game
Anthony needs you to know that the kid isnt his
Anthony needs birthday party ideas
Anthony needs to reverse the impact of his brief appearance
Anthony needs to share the basketball
Anthony needs to book atrium
Anthony needs a family that can help him deal with peer relationships
Anthony needs structure, but at the same time he needs freedom
Anthony needs a record, for goodness' sake
Anthony needs help tying his shoes
-All listed swiped directly from google in order. Achieved by typing "Anthony needs"
Thanks Rebecca.

Triumphant Return

Saturday, May 27, 2006

I accidently stole Jasons lighter, which has a holographic naked cartoon women on it. I had every
intentionof giving it back. Then the dog chewed it up.
Damn this blog sucks. For the near month hiatus, I should be relaying tales of how I battled
monkeys in Zanzabar, instead I present you with Jason's lighter.
let me start over......
Once upon a time when dinosaurs ruled the earth, God created naked ladies and fire. Then God
said unto man "If you like it so much why not draw a picture of it?" Then several years later man
saw the naked lades and the fire and said to himself "I will join the two; women and fire, and two
they shall be. I mean one."
Then in 2006 the dream was realized and the result?......
Fuck it, i'm getting coffee.
P.S. I battled monkeys in Zanzabar

Lost and found ***urgent***

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Unfortunately, due to many unforseen coincidences and several fluke occurances, I have lost my
mind. It is squishiy and grey, and leaves a bloody trail wherever it goes. I am now continually
walking into walls and sticking random fingers into light sockets causing fatal death over and over
again.
I have found a leftover solitary winter glove and inserted it into my mind socket, however, as
summer approaches I would like to put away wintery things, especially because it is not very
blustery in my mind.
If any kind peoples see my mind Please mail immediately to me, return postage is garanteed.

Pope Muhammad Goldstein

Sunday, April 16, 2006

I had the greatest most awesomest super duper day today.
7:33 pm I eat a light meal
9:15pm I use floss
10:27am Still Flossing
3:36 am
A small tribe of indonesian chirdren gather round my teeth for light and warmth
3:37am
sleep sounds good

Fuk da Police

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Last week I was driving around and I got pulled the shit over by the man. He's all up in my biznaz,
"you got alcohol up in your grill"
"can you step out of the car and follow my pen with your eyes?"
"can you recite the alphabet backwords?"
"can you blow into this tube?"
"Don't Kill me!"

Now Serving Brains

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Theres a coffee machine at work that whenever you buy a cup a little digital readout scrolls ::N O
W S E R V I N G B E V E R A G E ..6843::
We should all have little digital readouts surgically attached to our asses. They could tell us how
many cigarettes we smoked or lies we told, or "Shirley temple ..84535 consumed". And there'd be
one old guy, with a coke machine key, chasing after everyone, trying to get to get quarters out
their asses.
Thats the only downside.